It means that you think that I should go out and call Steve Henderson up
and just use it as a murder weapon, just killing people on the highway,
"I'm really not the head of the family, and yet I'm the man of the family."
As soon as I stop concentrating, I'd go back to 60 or 70 like I always do.
-Mister, we don't want any trouble. -No, there won't be any trouble.
Thanks, Dick, things seem to be pretty normal on our Southland freeways,
The way he's been griping to the front office, if I don't reach him today,
But nevertheless, I was wondering, how should I answer that question?
-You don't have to apologize. -I know I don't have to. I wanted to.
-You got the whiplash, all right. -That's okay. Thank... It's okay.
I'm really not the head of the family. She doesn't know I'm calling.
-to the lousy police for me? -Stop it, mister. You're scaring us.
-and challenge him to a fistfight or something. -No, of course not.
He shot a 5-under-par 67 with Lee Trevino one stroke back at 68.
Why don't I buy you a beer and get this thing straightened out, huh?
Yes, well, uh, I've been trying to get in touch with Mr. Mack myself.
I'd like to report a truck driver that's been endangering my life.
so I wanted to make sure,if I put down I'm the head of the family,
the high today will be about 74, low tonight in the high 50s.
Traffic is also heavily congested on the westbound Venture Freeway
Or just drop me off at the nearest station. I'll pay you for it.
-I don't know. Looks like I'd go right underneath the bumper. -No.
-A lot of people think it's strange. -Yes, I can understand that.
-Well, you can put what ethyl you can get in the tank. -All righty.
Look, mister, I'm sorry if I irritated you, but let me, uh...
But I wish you had made some of those questions multiple choice. Now
that the Census Bureau has sent out to us all to fill in, right?
He's got some souped-up diesel. My car is just not that powerful.
No, because if we talk about it, we'll just get into a fight,
I penciled it in first, but I said, "No, that's being dishonest."
The weather for today, as promised, is a carbon copy of yesterday's,
-What for? -Just get them off the road and they'll be okay.
and I stopped to let it cool off. Now I can't get her started again.
Mister, I'm sorry to bother you, but I could use a little help.
Why didn't I leave right away when I saw his truck outside?
-Thank you so much. It's nice talking to you. -You're welcome.
But I wanted to be honest about it, and I'm a man of conscience,
And we understand this condition will last until 3:00 this afternoon.
-The police? -You think that I won't? You're wrong, mister.
that you wanted marks in these circles here that I see in front of me.
-How do you spell that, please? -M-A-N-N. That's two N's.
-What number are you calling from? -This number is 9821.
-Swiss cheese on rye? R-Y-E. -Swiss cheese on rye. All right.
You just go along figuring some things don't change, ever, right?
-Would you mind checking those radiator hoses? -I'll do that.
That hood will dent. I told the kids not to get on the hood.
-What the hell are you talking about? -I can call the police.
What if he stayed, too? Actually talked to the police himself?
I don't know, all I did was pass this stupid rig a couple of times,
and Chuck's Cafe may be the only place to eat for miles around.
Where have I heard that before? I'll get one later, thanks.
You know how women are before you marry them. They're so nice.
Although there are people in the neighborhood who would question that.
At the beaches, temperatures will stay in the pleasant 70s.
-What happened out there? -Oh, just a slight complication.
and all the ropes that kept you hanging in there get cut loose.
The first six months of marriage, I knew I made a mistake.
I'm afraid of her, you see. I've been wanting to divorce her.
There's a report of a stalled vehicle in the number two lane
I must have been inside trying to get that piece of junk shaking.
You said there would be no problem about getting home on time.
-Sir, which department do you want? -Whichever's closer.
He chased me down the mountain at nearly 90 miles an hour.
-Want me to check under the hood for you? -Uh, please. Yes.
that, unfortunately, I've been married to for the last 25 years...
Say, does your car need a new muffler or new shock absorbers?
Well, I won't be seeing Forbes today, that's for sure.
That creep comes around, knocks my sandwich out of my hand.
Aw, your head aches. Sure, I'll get you some aspirin.
-I don't know what else you'd call it. -Tried to kill you.
That woman just drives me up the wall and over the other side.
All information that you include on that form is confidential.
-I'm sorry, mister... -Can't you make a lousy phone call
He's sick. Can't you see? He ain't gonna fight no one.
-There you are. Anything else? -No, thank you. Uh...
All right, boy, it was a nightmare, but it's over now.
And it's like, there you are, right back in the jungle again.
-You got a whiplash, probably. -Yeah. It's all right.
It's your mother. God knows she's not coming to see me.
Well, if you don't consider yourself head of the household,
And now, for our report from the freeways, to Don Edwards
Visit Mike Vernon Motors at 13631 Valley Boulevard.
Maybe they won't, but at least you'll be far away from me.
You already hit him twice. What more do you want, huh?
What if he followed me out, though, started after me again?
-Anything I can do for you? -No, nothing. Thank you.
Of course, we're always looking for original amateur talent.
-What's the matter, car trouble? -Well, in a way, yes.
-Why didn't you flag down that truck? -What truck?
And I'm sure none of these people would back me up.
-That truck driver tried to kill me. -Kill you? Go on.
-No offense. Are you serious about this? -Yes. Yes.
You see, what I do... I stay home. I hate working.
the question was, um, are you the head of the family?
of the inbound San Diego Freeway just south of Mulholland.
Well, that doesn't mean he intends to continue his attack.
practically trying to rape me in front of the whole party.
But no, I got a hold of this first, before she did.
So it would be all right? I wanna be honest with you.
-And I was wondering, can somebody help me? -Go ahead.
Even if I got a lead, he'd overtake me soon enough.
-No, it's nothing like that. -Well, what happened?
-nobody would know the difference, right? -No.
-They will never see that form. -Are you sure?
And so, I was wondering, you wanted honest answers.
-Come on. Get back in the bus! -Get your hands off him!
Uh, just a minute. I know what it's supposed to mean.
When I left the house this morning, you were asleep,
Operator, I'd like to call 659-0716, collect.
don't be like that whippo that I married. Would you?
The APCD predicts light to moderate eye irritation,
Man, all I'm asking you to do is just make a phone call.
In that case, I'll have to give you the police, sir.
I don't wanna fight. I wanna knock his head off.
and he had to slow down, turn around, that's all.
-It sure looks like you got whiplash. -Oh, it's...
Uh, Dave Mann. The number here is 238-2098.
-Well, what do you do, may I ask? -I play meat.
and getting involved in the rat race and things like that.
Nah, you're all right. Rodney, get down from there.
that he not only blows. Oh, Johnny on the bicycle pump,
That's 13631 Valley Boulevard in Garden Grove.
-I wonder if you'd do me a favor. -What's that?
Hey, get off the car. You're gonna get hurt there.
The one that just went by here a couple of minutes ago.
All right, all right. I'll buy you another sandwich.
If you think that you can take that truck of yours
Twenty, twenty-five minutes out of your whole life,
It's so much easier to pick up stuff in a house dress,
-Nobody is even going to know. -Are you sure?
and you think that your wife occupies that position,
Grocery card double discount value I mention each week,
which is to say they're just about filled to capacity
Would you stop at the nearest telephone you come to
-Operator. -I'd like to report a truck driver
Sorry, mister. I could have swore we were okay.
But then I'd have to stay here, lose more time.
Honey, I said there probably won't be a problem.
so I just wanted to call you up and tell you that, uh,
-What kind of help? -Well, I could use a push.
Look, mister, I'm sorry if I irritated you.
It's a habit. I can't help it. I... Take it easy.
-Oh, sure. Another glass of water. -Oh, uh, miss?
Quite frankly, I've lived like this for 15 years,
I would suggest you put your wife's name there.
Three others tied four strokes off the pace at 71.
Yeah, well, I told you we were gonna get hung up.
Well, I'm never going to make that appointment now.
Just forget it. You gonna be home by 6:30?
but I've never heard of anybody who plays meat.
Well, quite frankly, the day I married that woman
Get off of the highway. There's a truck coming.
I gave you the road. Why don't you take it?
-You say you do something unusual? -Yes.
-I really like you. Are you married? -Hey!
and take care of the babies and things like that.
Well, I lost the position as head of the family.
Thanks. Oh, you're gonna answer my question?
In golf, Dave Brewer has a one-stroke lead
Five to three. St. Louis, 6, the Giants, 4.
At the first sign of any hemorrhoidal discomfort
low overcast this morning, clearing by 11:00.
All right. Come on, everybody! Back on the bus!
well, you're wrong. You've got another thing coming.
Okay, so he's crazy. What can I do about it?
And could I have another glass of water, please?
-Can I use your men's room, please? -Yeah.
-Is it that important that you see him? -Hum
-You got change for the telephone? -Yes, sir.
-You're the boss. -Not in my house, I'm not.
-You know, beef and pork. -That's sick, man.
-Just took over everything. I mean... -Oh, no.
approximately half a mile west of the 605 junction
Maybe the police will pull you in by then.
Naturally, he'd deny everything. I've got no proof.
What's the matter? Did you have an accident?
but also does nail file on a high, flat table,
Oh, Valenti, the man who blows bicycle pump
Anyway, it's very embarrassing, so would you...
No one in your neighborhood will ever find out.
Remarkably successful results have been obtained
Both vehicles are now up on the center divider.
-What's your name again? -David Mann.
You're perfectly all right. Just keep off the road.
-Would you get off the car? -How about it?
I just can't drive 80 and 90 miles an hour.
Well, I play music on something unusual myself.
I know. But there are people in my neighborhood...
-Come on! Please! -Take your hands off...
As long as you stay off the road, you're okay.
They're all right. They're not on the road.
Come on, now. You wanna fight, get on outside.
Looks like you could use a new radiator hose.
Yes, sir. Whatever you want, I got it.
Now, what I did, I penciled in all of the marks
after the first round of the Toronto Classic.
I'm in no mood to play games. Let's go.
I like doing this just to get even with her.
And, quite frankly, I've adopted most...
I don't mind being counted as an American.
and KBMJ's eye in the sky. Come in, Don.
-What's your name, sir? -David Mann.
Like being able to drive on a public highway
Yeah. I don't mean to hurt your feelings,
-I'll try my best not to be. -All right.
I'm positive. No one will know about that.
Don Edwards in Airwatch 3. Back to you.
And we also have a report of an accident
All I'm asking you to do is call the police.
Is that the truck you were asking about?
Now wait just a minute. All right, now, think.
I've worked here as an assistant butcher
And suddenly they become so aggressive.
Pittsburgh and the Padres rained out.
It's only one of hundreds of double discounts
You know how much your dog likes meat?
"Well, dear, did you have a nice trip?"
My snakes! I've got to find my snakes!
Take a look at my snakes if you have time.
When I bust them loose, pull it back.
Yeah. He probably eats here all the time.
-You save them stamps? -No, thanks.
-What do you want? -Fill it with ethyl.
and I've found in a cold storage locker...
on the Ted Mack Original Amateur Hour.
I mean, she became so aggressive afterward.
What will you people think when I send it?
Well, make sure that's what he's getting...
Mr. Pfeiffer, that guy's stuck, too.
-Cut what out? -Now, come on. I mean...
Maybe I should try some kind of contact.
Why don't you just give me a cheese sandwich,
He's leaving for HawaiI in the morning.
and also plays the vacuum cleaner nozzle
Mr. ValentI is unusual for the fact
We won't know you from Adam's house cat.
Milwaukee defeated the Royals, 4 to 3.
from Woodman to Balboa due to construction.
Traffic is still slow and go in that area.
That bastard turned around and came back.
knocking my sandwich out of my hand?
Oh? Looked like a big complication to me.
Oh, I really don't want to talk about it.
I'm filling out my census form right now
"Ah, no, no. Just the same old thing."
I'm not budging for at least an hour.
He's been trying to kill me. I mean it.
Please, I... Let's not play games.
I thought, "Well, I'll answer it."
who's crazy around here, it'd be you.
Uh... Get those kids out of the way.
Well, you never know. You just never know.
But, honey, I think you could have at least
and you wouldn't want that, would you?
Well, nothing happened. I just, uh...
and I'd hate for anybody to know that.
I don't want people to know about that.
Weird place for a telephone booth.
Hey! Get back in the bus. Please. Please.
-I want you to cut it out. -What?
Then I'd know what he intends to do.
-Are you all right? -Yeah, I'm fine.
What happened out there, mister?
said something to the man last night.
Don't you think maybe we ought to?
and I admit, I wear a house dress.
First of all, I just wanted to say, uh,
The Dodgers and Angels were both idle.
Come on, car. Come on, let's go!
Let's get back in the bus, come on.
Just see if you can bounce it loose,
He was just moving too fast before,
and he goes flying off the deep end.
And then one stupid thing happens.
without somebody trying to murder you.
So she works and I do the housework
-and call the police? -Police?
Now look, I know how this must sound,
Come on. Come on. Back in the bus!
-Come on, forget it. -No, forget it.
down the hall, turn left, second door.
Okay. Okay. You want to play games.
If Forbes lets me go in time.
I, uh... I'm sorry about last night.
Well, I just wanted to, uh, apologize.
Okay, let's see you catch me now.
You can't do it! You can't do it!
I'd be right back where I started.
Well, just be on time, okay?
I hate going out and seeing people
That will be the basis of this...
as if you hadn't already noticed.
The highway's all yours, Jack.
-Call the police! -With what?
Well, I tell you, if I had to vote on
I don't wanna stay around here anyway.
Who the hell do you think you are,
What if I called the local police?
Get that fat-ass truck out of my way.
It's a Great Day for the Irish.
Texas edged the Yankees, 5 to 4.
always available at Grocery Cart.
You're all right, right where you are.
Let me buy you a beer then, huh?
I'll get you the rest later?
I'm one of the silent majority.
Why don't you get out of here, huh?
-You play meat? -Yes, meat.
Yes, but that's so embarrassing.
and I have an awful problem.
-Was there an accident? -No
That's the only phone I've got!
Why'd he break my cages up?
that's been endangering my life.
Well, it's about time, Charlie!
You know about these census forms
treatment should begin at once.
The National Weather Bureau says
Don't you tell me I need help.
All right. Okay, I'll be there.
What is that supposed to mean?
You were talking to a Mr...
You must be out of your brains!
How about I give you a hand?
I'll buy you another sandwich.
Through the door, on the right,
Just a little whiplash is all.
It may sound a little strange.
Because, well, I've tried to...
You can't beat me on the grade!
That goes for you too, Shawn.
Come on, you miserable fathead.
I would like some information.
Water temperature in the 60s.
Hi. Help you, mister?
Wait a minute! Wait, I...
Well, I'd better do something.
-Attendant? -Yes, sir?
-You what? -I play meat.
Yeah, you see that truck?
Right. Give me the police.
Something for your car?
Find him a psychiatrist?
Well, ready to order now?
Good enough. Come back, now.
I could lose the account.
at this hour of the morning.
How can he go so fast?
Damn thing overheated on me,
Do you have an aspirin?
Don't sit on the hood.
Just cut it out, okay?
-No. That's okay. -Okay.
You all right, mister?
This is Mr. Whittington.
of the average housewife,
of the Santa Ana Freeway.
Can't beat me on the grade.
Jim, step on the pedal.
Oh, my snakes. My snakes.
Come on now. Look at him.
-Oh! -Well, it's true.
My life's in danger!
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
Oh, boy, you're beautiful.
Okay, so now what?
The cops will probably...
Just give me, um... Um...
Here's your card, sir.
There probably won't be.
-M-E-A-T, meat? -Yes.
When you get married,
Census District Office.
is not one of a kind.
And you know something?
You got a telephone?
but that man is crazy.
I'll buy you a beer.
I'd like some ketchup.
Yeah. Yeah, except...
Be with you in a second.
I mean, after all, he was
Talk about pollution.
and, you know, slippers.
There it is. There it is!
Why'd he do that?
Just bounce it loose.
Push! Push! Push! Push!
Hey! Hey, come on!
Be with you in a minute.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
Where's the summit?
Oh, no, please! No!
and I'll, uh, uh...
Guess I didn't notice.
with a doctor-proven...
He has to be crazy.
Why don't you go?
I'll put it down...
Something wrong?
Man, you need help.
Oh, come on, honey.
-Yes. -Oh, good.
Faster. Faster!
Please. Please.
Well, we'll see.
It is lunchtime,
Okay, he's in here.
Yes, thank you. Um...
I don't believe it.
If Ethel don't mind.
Come on, faster!
Just take it easy.
What happened?
Honey? It's me.
Thanks, Don.
The radiator hose.
Push! Push! Push!
Now wait a minute.
Oh, I think I'll...
Come on! Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Out in the back.
He can't do it!
It's all over.
Oh, my neck.
You miserable...
The Giant 49...
He's all right.
Oh, never mind.
Of course not.
800,000 others.
Yeah! Yeah!
Oh, my God!
That's all.
Hey, stop!
Look, uh...
This way?
Excuse me.
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
Oh, boy.
Hey! Hey!
Uh, um...
Forget it.
Maybe I...
Ahem. Yes.
Well...
Thank you.
I have.
Hold it!
Come on!
Come on.
Please.
Come on.
Oh, boy.
Will do.
Come on!
Uh...
Shit.
My God.
Now!
Yeah?
Jesus.
Huh?
Jim!
Hey!
No.
Huh.
No